You can scroll to the very bottom and  view pictures and a slideshow of Matthew throughout his 20 years....

ABOUT MY SON MATTHEW

Matthew came into this world on 1/10/86, three weeks early, at 6:24 pm, weighing in at 6#10oz.  He immediately stole my heart and took my breath away.  We watched him grow from a curly hair toddler into a handsome young man (who hated the curls!). By 4 yrs old, we could tell he was blessed with an unbelievable imagination and a huge artistic talent. He went from markers and pens to acrylics and canvas.  Some of his paintings are in the slideshow below, and there's earlier drawings of his on the other picture tab.  He also started showing an interest in piano and in 2nd grade, after only 3 weeks of piano lessons, he played a solo of "Silent Night" using chords at his grade school Christmas program.  He played it effortlessly and perfectly.  In 5th grade, he started playing trumpet in band, and excelled at that for 5 years.  After this, he could pick up any instrument including the violin and clarinet and play without instruction.  As Matthew finished junior high and entering high school, he started displaying neurological problems, with no answers from the doctors for almost 2 years.  It wasn't until Matthew had a drop-down, grand-mal seizure splitting the back of his head open that alerted the doctors that Matthew just might have epilepsy.  EEG testing later confirmed the diagnosis. This condition plagued Matthew throughout high school and into college, with numerous grand mal seizures and every other types of epileptic seizures that one could be afflicted with, including a scare with status epelipticus that left him in a coma for 3 days. 

Matthew suffered deprpession from his physical condtion that caused multiple suicide attempts, all in which he survived.  I felt then that God had a greater purpose for him on this Earth.  Matthew had a heart made of gold and a smile that would warm anyone he met.  His most attractive personality trait was his warm and compassionate heart.  He would give anyone the shirt off his back or the last penny he had.  And something he had lots and lots for people were hugs; he hugged his family, people he had just met and many, many friends.  He hugged them through good times and through bad.  As a matter of fact, unknowingly his last day on this earth, as I departed in the morning for work, he hugged me tightly, cupped his hands around my face, and told me what a beautiful person I was and that he loved me so much.  This was the last time I saw him alive and I will cherish that hug and that memory forever.   

Matthew's favorite form of art was painting; he painited when he was sad and when he was happy.  I cherish each and everyone of his paintings and drawings now.  I have some of his paintings, but most of them he gave away to friends and family; they were a piece of him and his soul that he was sharing.  If YOU happen to have one of his paintings or drawing that I don't know about, please let me know.  I don't expect to take it back, but only to get a picture of another one of his masterpieces.   

Matthew's death has left a hole in our souls, tears in our eyes, and many shattered hearts, but he imbedded footprints in our heart.  We know he is still painting from Heaven, as we stop and take awe of the majestic and beautiful sunrises, sunsets, and rainbows showering down from Heaven.  

MATTHEW'S METHADONE STORY   

Matthew had suffered from prescription drug addiction, mostly due to the many prescriptions he had been handed over and over.  He had been prescription-drug-free for over 6 months, when he relapsed for about one week.  Matt had started getting his life back together, enrolled back in college, started going to church, and had goals and dreams for his life.  We searched for different solutions for his relapse when we happened to find some websites about Methadone Maintenance Treatment.  Matthew called the 800 number to find out there was a clinic right here in our town, only about one mile away from our home.  He started the Methadone Clinic on the early morning of Monday, August 7th. His father and I accompanied him to this appointment, not only to show our support, but also to be sure this was a safe decision.  On the afternoon after Matt's first dosage, he started experiencing side effects (problems swallowing, rash, trouble urinating, and hallucinations starting that night). He immediately advised the clinic the next morning about these side effects, believing these effects were abnormal. Instead of taking these adverse effects seriously, they did absolutely nothing but tell him to get back in the line for dose administration. Nobody physically looked at him, checked him, or discussed these symptoms and reactions. In other words, they blew him off and then herded him through the patient dosage line.  I witnessed how they administer this medication.  They are not even taken into a room, however, stand in a line and dosed at the receiptionist window by someone (nurse?).  The doctor is not even in the clinic. By the second day, and with an increased dosage of Methadone, Matt's symptoms were more severe; he complained that morning at the clinic and even called the clinic again later in the day due to his increasingly, uncomfortable side effects. He was repeatedly told these reactions were normal; they were not, they were an obvious symptom of intolerance to the level of methadone and a blatant sign of methadone toxicity.  He would walk around with a hairbrush he itched so bad. He was told his body would "adjust". This continued the next few days; they increased his dosage each day even though he begged them not to. As his dosage increased each day, the more symptoms surfaced and the severity increased; still nobody responded to his adverse symptoms. The doctor never once checked Matt after the initial appointment early Monday morning. On the 5th day of treatment, Friday, August 11, I talked with Matt on the phone around 10am, about two hours after his dosage, and he sounded extremely groggy; however, he had not slept at all the night before and so I figured he needed a nap, and told him to go lay down and call me back later.  He never called.  I  came home from work around 5pm to an eerie silence.  I walked through the house to find my son sitting but slumped over in the floor of the hallway of our home. Dead.  My brain knew instantly that he was dead, but my heart could not begin to accept what I was seeing.  I laid his cold body down in the hallway and was shocked by what I was about to see.  Because of his position of his head slumped down, the blood had pooled to leave his face covered with purple splotches against his snow white skin.  I immediately called 911 and then went back to his body and tried to start CPR, wanting to breathe some of my life into him.  However, his mouth and jaw were locked and rigid, and I could not move or open his mouth; little did I know he was in rigor mortis.  When the paramedics arrived, I was sure he could be revived, however, it took about 2 minutes to pronounce him dead.  How could this be?  How could my 20 year old son be dead?  But there I was with his lifeless body laying beside him in the hallway.  Due to the fact that Matthew was by himself when he died, the police were soon filing in, along with detectives, the coroner and family members started to arrive.  I had to break it to everyone that Matthew was dead.  It wrenched my heart telling his father, his grandparents, best friends, etc.  Soon, our pastor arrived and he started advising me what to do, I was so helpless at that point.  But nothing could have prepared for when they brought his body through the house on a gurney, but encased in a body bag.  It was unbelievable.  It felt ike one of those nightmares when you try to scream, but nothing comes out. This thought and pain are second only to the absolutely unbearable thought that I will never, ever get to see my son again, hear his voice or feel his touch or loving hug. But there are no do-overs; we cannot go back and lower the dose or determine all of the other numerous things that went wrong (like all of the CNS depressants they approved for him to take with the Methadone). A few weeks after Matt's death and before the autopsy results were available, his father and I visited the clinic requesting a copy of his medical file. After much bickering, they finally conceded and said I could pick up a copy the following day. When I went to pick up the copy the next day, the clinic administrator, shoved them at me and told me she was sure that the M.E. and toxicology report would find other "illegal drugs or substances" in my dead son.  This is an example of the care and compassion (or lack there-of) the clinic provides their patients and families, even knowing that their patient, my son, was deceased and I was in unbearable pain. I also found out later that they reported his death to CSAT, but told them that he was abusing other drugs.  However, when the toxicology results came back a few weeks later, there was only Methadone and the other prescriptions that the doctor had approved in his system. The State Medical Examiner even called his father and I each personally to explain that due to the fact that he had more than Methadone in his system (he was also prescribed Xanax and Phenergan); therefore, he legally had to list his cause of death as "poly drug overdose", he could not legally list Methadone soley as the cause of death.  However, he informed us that it was his profound belief that the Methadone was solely responsible for Matt's death. I asked to be sure and confirm what he was saying "Do you mean the cure was the killer?" And he responded, "Yes Ma'am, that is what I am saying." When reading, Matthew's file from the MMT clinic, it was obvious they had time to"fix" his records.  There was nothing there that resembled the truth.  They had only documented his side effects once, and had back-dated numerous comments, and the dates were not in chronological order.  But the real truth was unfolding before me.  Methadone kills. Plain and simple. Even when administered in a controlled, licensed clinic setting, without taking anything "extra". The only thing Matt did wrong that week was follow the doctor's orders - and it killed him. Methadone is killing at least 11 people/day in the U.S., mostly innocent victims that are unaware of the dangerous and lethal side effects. Most people do not realize the unpredictable half-life of this drug, varying as much from 4 hrs to 190 hrs.  This means that when you take the second dose, at least half of the first dose is still in your system.  Then the third dose is administered with the first and second dose still in your body, etc., depending on how slow or fast your body metabollzes the drug.  Little do most people know if you are not opioid tolerant or if you have a low tolerance (as Matt did), it only takes one pill or one dose to kill you!!  Most clinic deaths occur within the first 5-10 days (the induction phase) when the risk of death is 98 times greater than any other time of dosage.  You would think with the clinic's knowledge of these facts, they would have paid more attention to Matt when he complained of the multiple side effects that related directly to methadone toxicity. 

I filed a complaint with the WV DHHR regarding my son's death and they performed a surprise audit of the clinic.  In less than one full day, the auditor found more than 19 violations.  The first violation stated that they had not calibrated the methadone pump correctly in over 5 years - who knows how much they were dispensing to every single patient??  The clinic tried to contest the violations, was allowed one hearing, and denied the second and the report was filed with all 19 violations.  The clinic has now had to implement corrective actions for each violation found.  Hopefully, this clinic is a little bit safer than it was when Matthew died, all because of their lack of concern and appropriate care.

I did not settle just for a local change, but also went to the federal level, trying to make Methadone safer, at least in a clinic setting. In 2007, I was one of only 51 people from across the country that was invited to and attended the annual guideline review for Methadone Maintenance Treatment goverened by SAMHSA & CSAT, located in Rockville, MD, just across from Washington DC.  I did not realize I was the only public person invited, everyone else were physicians, clinic owners, SAMSHA, CSAT and DEA officials, governors, senators, and state methadone authorities, all with a pro-Methadone viewpoint.  But by the end of the day when I had detailed what happened to my son and the lack of regulations surrounding the induction phase, 50 people left that day with a different angle of Methadone treatment.  Later, Nick Reuter from CSAT personally contacted me and told me that in the next revision they would include an entire section dedicated to the induction phase.  I had also been in contact with other officials from SAMHSA before the meeting and reported Matthew's story and they all took it very seriously.  I actually had one woman from SAMHSA come to me during the break at the meeting to let me know that they have weekly "Matthew Fielder meetings", and that is what they are called.  They had been investigating how something so horrible could go so wrong in a clinic setting.  Hopefully, regulations will be implemented to make clinics a little safer during this phase in clinics.

As hard as it is, we accept that it was Matthew's time to be with the Lord and resides in Heaven.  We lift up the 20 blessed years we had with such a wonderful child, grandchild, nephew, friend, cousin, etc.  We know that God catches our tears and gives us strength, after all he lost his only Son. 

Website regarding Methadone Victims:  www.harmd.org. 

If you do a general search on the internet about Methadone, many pro-Methadone sites come up first.  These websites are visited by innocent people who are made to belive that Methadone is safe and effective.  The truth is their research is done by Dr. Stuart Leavitt, who is funded solely by Mallinckrodt, the manufacturer of Methadone!!  This is how we were blindly fooled at the cost of Matthew's life.

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