Memorial website in the memory of your loved one
His legacy
Matt's Poetry  
"TURNING TO GOD"
by
Matthew Jacob Fielder

With fear in my heart and nothing to gain,
I cry at night these tears of pain.
With no one left to call my own,
Abandoned and scared; all alone.
With nothing left and nothing to be,
I bow down on bended knee.
With nowhere to run and no place to turn,
I pray to the Lord for the life that I yearn.
"Give me the will to dry my tears,
Give me the strength to face my fears."
"Give me courage to find true love,
And to free my heart like a sacred dove,"
"Give me the power to be something great,
Lead me through that pearly gate."
"And in return for the life you gave,
I give you my soul for you to save."


James 1:12 - From Granny  
This is a Bible verse that Matt liked and also describes his life:

James 1:12
"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Legacy  
An Excerpt from the song "Legacy" by Nicole Nordeman

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace
Who blessed Your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me


Matthew's Legacies (by Mom)  
I believe Matthew had several legacies he left behind:

First is all of his years and years of artistic work.  I have paintings, drawings, watercolors, pastels, charcoals; any medium you can imagine dating back to age 4-5.  His artwort is what many people knew him for.  In school if there was a project to be done in any grade, Matt was always summoned from whatever grade to do it.  He had a comic strip that he and another student used to do; I thought it was silly at the time, but now I realize it was actually good and funny and another part of his legacy.

Another piece of Matt's legacy is what he has taught to everyone that was close to him.  Matt has EDUCATED many of us in so many ways.  Before Matt started experiencing difficulties in his life, I realize now I was prejudiced and narrow-minded about so many things in life and didn't even know it.  Matthew was faced with so many adversities in life and I watched him struggle through each one.  I realized that these problems, diseases and addictions know no barriers and strike people from every walk of life, irregardless of economic or social upbringing or status.  So many people live with the nose-in-the-air attitude that this could never happen to them, but they are wrong, and they are not privy to the judgment they claim.  I have learned the hard way that you can't pass judgment, Matt taught me this.  Our fellow people that struggle with mental disorders, to whatever degree, are still people with hearts, and hopes and dreams.  And yet society looks down on "mental health" as though they were lepers from the dark ages, even to the poiont of non-associating and securing a distance from this patient.  Would you do this if the patient had leukemia?  Absolutely not.  However, it is not any more avoidable or any more contagious.  And the same love and support is needed for both.  The same holds true for substance abuse, which can be part of the mental disorder, ar a disease within itself.  And yet how many people stand back and judge, stand back and whisper and gossip to other people, as though they have a protective barrier preventing them from such modalities.  Matthew's legacy is that he has gently and patiently taught me that nobody is immune to any health related issue in this world, whether it is physical or mental.  He has taught me to open my eyes and not just look ahead, but look around.  None of us are judges on this earth, and none of us know what we will be dealt before we depart this earth.  So open your eyes to your fellow people, support them, lend them a helping hand, and the last thing you do, is judge them.  


Move Along  
"MOVE ALONG" by All American Rejects
1st Song Before Matt's Funeral
Matthew really liked this song and after his death, I interpret that Matt is telling us to move along with our life, even when we feel our hope is gone...  

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone stands
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold 

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along 

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

When everything is wrong we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through

(Move along)
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
Right back what is wrong
We move along


High (Beautiful Dawn)  
HIGH (BEAUTIFUL DAWN) - James Blunt
2nd Song before Matt's funeral started
Matthew really liked this song before he died; now I believe Matt is running wild among all the stars above.  And yes, we will all remember him!

Beautiful dawn - lights up the shore for me.
There is nothing else in the world,
I'd rather wake up and see (with you).
Beautiful dawn - I'm just chasing time again.
Thought I would die a lonely man, in endless night.
But now I'm high; running wild among all the stars above.
Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me.

Beautiful dawn - melt with the stars again.
Do you remember the day when my journey began?
Will you remember the end (of time)?
Beautiful dawn - You're just blowing my mind again.
Thought I was born to endless night, until you shine.
High; running wild among all the stars above.
Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me.

Will you be my shoulder when I'm grey and older?
Promise me tomorrow starts with you,
Getting high; running wild among all the stars above.
Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me








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